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Friday, April 15, 2011

Employers Estimate A 40% Drop In Productivity Due To "Mets Depression"

As Mets fans, we all know the emotional toll that watching our favorite team can take on us, but according to a new survey, there is an a very real financial cost to the Mets losing ways.

According to a survey by the the job-placement and consulting firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, the sadness caused by being fan actually leads to a 40% drop in workplace productivity costing employers millions of dollars every year. 

The phenomenon knows as "Mets Depression" can cause those suffering from it to completely shutdown making work impossible.  This season it seems to be happening even earlier than usual.

"After that first game of yesterdays double-header, we had one guy just lock himself in the bathroom.  He wouldn't come out.", says one executive.  "Eventually, we just sent him home."

So why not simply hire Yankees fans?

"We tried that one year.  But all that smugness and general douchbaggery led to an even bigger drop in productivity as all they wanted to do was stand around and remind each other how great they are."

All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

2 comments:

  1. i was the guy who locked himself in the bathroom...and it just didn't help.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My doctor just put me on Zoloff.....if it doesn't help, he advised me to drink heavily........he said the Mets were THAT bad.

    ReplyDelete

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