Thursday, April 7, 2011
Fresh Off Hot Start Willie Harris Dumps Agent, Signs With Scott Boras
Opening weekend went well for the veteran. He went 4 for 10 including 2 doubles and a HR. Based on that he fired his agent and signed on with Uber Mega Agent-to-the-stars Scott Boras.
The Apple caught up with Boras earlier today Citi Field just before his appointment with GM Sandy Alderson. Here's the transcript of the interview:
APPLE: Mr. Boras, can you tell us how you came to be Willie Harris' agent? It all seems to have come together so fast.
SB: Oh, let's not be so formal. Just call me "Mr. Boras". Actually my agency and I have had our eye on Willie for a long time. We've always seen him as a star in the making with a broad range of skills that just needed the right representation.
APPLE: But didn't he come into the season with like a .233 lifetime batting average and an OPS under 700?
SB: Oh sure. You can twist the numbers any way you want to but no one who saw him in Miami this past weekend would be convinced that Willie is anything but a star - AND DESERVES TO BE PAID AS SUCH.
APPLE: What's that huge book you have under your arm?
SB: Oh this. It's.... Watch out!
APPLE: OUCH!!! It fell on my foot. I think it broke my toe. What the heck is that?
SB: That's our Willie Harris Dossier that I'm going to show Sandy in a few minutes. Here. Just look at chapter 17 entitled "Incredible Catches."
APPLE: There must be a dozen dazzlers here. But it looks like every one of these was against the Mets. Couldn't one make the case that the only team Harris plays great defense against is the Mets?
SB: The way WE like to see it is that the sight of the Mets' uniform gets Willie's juices flowing and pushes him to greater heights. And now as a Met he gets to see that uni every single day.
APPLE: So what kind of deal are you looking for at this point?
SB: You know how I hate to negotiate in the media....
APPLE: Did you just wink at me?
SB: No, that's no wink. Just a nervous tick that sometimes happens to me.
APPLE: There it is again.
SB: Anyway we're thinking of giving the Mets an incredible discount on Willie's services. We think tearing up his current deal and replacing it with one for $21 million over three years should fairly compensate our client.
APPLE: You can't be serious.
SB: Are you not talking to the man who got Oliver Perez $36 mill for three years?
APPLE: I know. But that was with Omar. You're dealing with a real GM this time and one with budgetary restrictions. I can't speak for the team but I'd be surprised if you could get a 21 year deal for a total of $3 million at this point.
(door opens to Sandy Alderson's office)
SB: We'll see about that. Just keep your eye on the transactions page and watch me do my magic.
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Story by Larry Smith. You can follow Larry Smith on twitter @dr4sight
This Month's Most Popular
The 2012 World Series is fast approaching. This year's fall classic promises to be an exciting matchup if for no other reason tha...
This afternoon the New York Mets announced their summer concert series . While the news was met with little enthusiasm from the team's...
The Apple has learned the true reason for the Mets' recent signing of the mammoth 6'10" pitcher Chris Young. It seems that ...
While it's no surprise that Matt Harvey wants to be the starting pitcher for the National League at the All-Star Game at Citi Field on...
The scientific community is buzzing in Puerto Rico today as residents from all over the island are calling in reports of a strange new speci...
All Time Most Popular
Last night on Family Guy, after having his Halloween candy stolen from him, little Stewie Griffin compared the whole experience to being a M...
It seems that even when the Mets have a good idea it still finds a way to go horribly wrong. Last week the Mets announced that they were re...
In 2009 the Mets moved into Citi Field, a world class ballpark that many New Yorkers say is superior to the Yankees entertainment complex in...
OK SNY, we get it. Kevin Burkhardt is your star. You don't have to keep hitting us over the head with him. Fans tuning in to watch ne...
Last night, the mathematically viable portion of the Mets season came to an end and somewhere, Barney Stinson had a cigarette. The Mets o...
There's been a lot of talk of fences these days. More than usual. So I figured I'd take a stab at reconfiguring the LF fence. Whi...
Last week I asked you to send in your tributes to Dickey and the response was "RA-Diculous". We got Photoshop pictures, so...