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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Outtakes from New Yorker Article Reveal Even More Wilpon Opinions

Yesterday, Mets owner Fred Wilpon's comments in a New Yorker article set off a media circus in NY as many fans and sports columnists felt that the Mets owner unfairly singled out David Wright, Jose Reyes & Carlos Beltran for criticism.  Why did he choose to attack only those three?  According to the author of the article, Jeffrey Toobin, he didn't. 

"Wilpon actually had opinions on a lot of things that simply had to be cut because the story was too long.", said Toobin.  The author agreed to share additional quotes from Wilpon exclusively with The Apple.

On Brooklyn Burger:
"Brooklyn Burgers are very good burgers and they even say Brooklyn right on the box, but let's be honest here.  They want Bubba Burger money and there is no way they are getting it."

On Mr. Met:
"I inherited Mr. Met when I took over the team.  He's a nice mascot.  Very good with children.  But he's not an elite mascot by any means."

On the Mets HOF and Museum:
"That was something the fans demanded.  I thought it was silly to build a museum to celebrate two championships in 50 years.  Have you seen what we have in there? There's not that much to celebrate.  We're about one week away from putting Bobby Valentine's fake mustache on display.  At least it gets people into the gift shop I suppose."

On Justin Turner:
"Good God is that boy's red hair creepy or what?  I can't watch him play.  Creeps me out.  But he's cheap and you gotta like that."

On Jason Isrignhausen:
"He's been a nice find for us but have you noticed how different he looks from the kid who played for us in 1996.  This Izzy looks like he ate that kid."

On Jon Niese:
"He'll never be a star in this league with a nose like that."
On the HR Apple:
"The Home Run Apple out front is not the one from Shea.  It's a replica. I wonder how pissed off the fans would be if they knew the truth, that we used the real Shea apple as a giant pinata at Jeff's last birthday party."

On Jason Bay:
"At least his three letter last name makes his jersey cheap to produce."
On Chin-Lung Hu:
"When Sandy brought that name to me I assumed it was a joke.  I was like sure Sandy why don't you sign Cindy Lou Who while you're at it.  Who knew it was a real guy."
On Shake Shack:
"When I was a kid at Ebbets Field you watched the game.  You didn't spend half of it standing on a line.  But the times change I guess.  If these idiots want to wait an hour on line for a mediocre burger and I can make money on it, I'm all for it."

On Nick Evans:
"Who?"
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple

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