Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Las Vegas Sportsbook Allows Fans To Gamble On Mets PR Disasters
(20-1) - David Wright ends another players season by stepping on them
(40-1) - Fred Wilpon does a magazine interview in which he says David Wright won't get "Jose Reyes" money when he becomes a free agent
(10-1) - Mike Pelfrey is put on the DL with some kind of hand licking virus usually only seen in Pomeranians
(2-1) - Fans complain that opening day tribute to Gary Carter is an exploitative money grab by the Mets
(2-1) - Same fans complain that Mets didn't do enough to honor Gary Carter
(100-1) - Mets player tries to bring back the Hitler mustache
(75-1) - Mets consider moving the fences back after David Wright and Jason Bay's lack of power is deemed to be the result of trying too hard to go for the "short porch"
(50-1) - Banner Day is a disaster when 99% of banners are not allowed into Citi Field for containing profanity about the Wilpons. In the end, the only person marching is the guy from MetsPolice.com
(500-1) - Someone goes out for Dominican food and never returns
(1-1) - Carlos Beltran makes a seemingly innocuous statement and Mets beat writers go off on him
(300-1) - R.A. Dickey leaves Mets to pursue a full time mountain climbing career
(1000-1) - Terry Collins has to restrain a frustrated and possibly inebriated Keith Hernandez from inserting himself into a game as a pinch hitter
(5-1) - Kevin Burkhardt has to conduct an interview while a man in a tin foil hat tries to contact Jupiter behind him
(200-1) - The Mets save money by checking Daniel Herrera at baggage claim
(100-1) - The airline loses Daniel Herrera
(60-1) - Jeff Wilpon leaves his luxury box and comes down into the crowd to take a swing at the man he calls "That 7 Train T-Shirt Guy"
(500-1) - The Mets fail to show up for a day game when the entire team oversleeps. Fans who show up are treated to a screening of the Schwarzenegger film Commando
(10,000-1) - The owners of the Willets Point junkyards win a legal battle which requires the Mets tear down Citi Field to make room for more junkyards
(1000,000-1) - Ike Davis shows no ill effects of Valley Fever. Unfortunately the rest of the team is not so lucky and the Mets are forced to forfeit the month of August while the entire team except for Davis recovers from the disease
All articles featured on The Apple are fictitious. No Mets were harmed in the writing of this story. Follow me on Twitter @readtheapple.
This Month's Most Popular
National League MVP Ryan Braun has suddenly found himself on the hot seat after testing positive for PED's. While many expected Braun t...
In case you haven't already read about it on Mets Police or On The Black , a few of us got together on Saturday night to celebrate our ...
The scientific community is buzzing in Puerto Rico today as residents from all over the island are calling in reports of a strange new speci...
The Phillies have been watching the progress of R.A. Dickey very closely. They have seen how much the uncomfortably named hurler has captur...
Andy Martino is having a busy day. Just hours after exposing newly acquired Mets farmhand Noah Syndergaard as a massive homophobe , the Me...
While it's no surprise that Matt Harvey wants to be the starting pitcher for the National League at the All-Star Game at Citi Field on...
All Time Most Popular
Last night on Family Guy, after having his Halloween candy stolen from him, little Stewie Griffin compared the whole experience to being a M...
It seems that even when the Mets have a good idea it still finds a way to go horribly wrong. Last week the Mets announced that they were re...
In 2009 the Mets moved into Citi Field, a world class ballpark that many New Yorkers say is superior to the Yankees entertainment complex in...
Last night, the mathematically viable portion of the Mets season came to an end and somewhere, Barney Stinson had a cigarette. The Mets o...
OK SNY, we get it. Kevin Burkhardt is your star. You don't have to keep hitting us over the head with him. Fans tuning in to watch ne...
There's been a lot of talk of fences these days. More than usual. So I figured I'd take a stab at reconfiguring the LF fence. Whi...
Last week I asked you to send in your tributes to Dickey and the response was "RA-Diculous". We got Photoshop pictures, so...